THE SIMPSONS QUOTES II

quotations from The Simpsons

And lord, we're especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream.

HOMER SIMPSON

"Bart Vs. Thanksgiving", The Simpsons

Tags: nuclear energy


Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me and for the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is and I won't ask for anything more. If that is ok, please give me absolutely no sign. (pause) Deal.

HOMER

The Simpsons


Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!

HOMER

The Simpsons

Tags: vampires


Between your genius and my nothing, we make a great team. Come on, give me a hug!

HOMER

"The Musk Who Fell to Earth", The Simpsons


Oh, my God, I'm popular! Hope this doesn't go to my head. It went right to my head!! Aaaah!!

LISA

"Teenage Mutant Milk-Caused Hurdles", The Simpsons

Tags: popularity


I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.

HOMER

The Simpsons

Tags: work


Well, we have no witnesses, no suspects, and no leads. If anyone has any information, please dial "0" and ask for the police. That number again, "0."

CHIEF WIGGUM

"The Telltale Head", The Simpsons


But Marge, what if we picked the wrong religion? Each week we'd just make God madder and madder.

HOMER

The Simpsons

Tags: religion


Bart, having never received any words of encouragement myself, I'm not sure how they're supposed to sound, but here goes: I believe in you.

LISA

"Dead Putting Society", The Simpsons


Nothing you say can upset us. We're the MTV generation.

BART

"Homer's Triple Bypass", The Simpsons


Well, family, we should be proud. We took on corporate America and broke even.

HOMER

"Super Franchise Me", The Simpsons

Tags: corporations


Stop in the name of a Private Citizen with no connection to the Law!

HOMER

The Simpsons


I thought I had an appetite for destruction ... but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

HOMER

The Simpsons


You gotta be pretty desperate to make it with a robot.

HOMER

The Simpsons

Tags: robots


Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be ... the Killbot Factory.

KENT BROCKMAN

"Homer Loves Flanders", The Simpsons


Come on, Dad. If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to The Smurfs, and it's gonna happen to us.

BART

"Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire", The Simpsons

Tags: Christmas


Oh, you must be Flanders' new dog. I just want to apologize in advance for the things I'm gonna blame on you.

HOMER

"Peeping Mom", The Simpsons

Tags: dogs


I think we'd be all better off if each country had its own planet.

BARNEY

The Simpsons


I want to share something with you. The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number one: Cover for me. Number two: Oh, good idea, boss! Number three: It was like that when I got here.

HOMER

The Simpsons


Listen to your mother, kids. Aim low. Aim so low no one will even care if you succeed. Dinner's in the oven. If you want some butter it's under my face.

MARGE

"The Twisted World of Marge Simpson", The Simpsons

Tags: ambition