quotations about babies
Babies are such a nice way to start people.
DON HEROLD
attributed, 20,000 Quips & Quotes
Babies are like stinky French cheese. They are an acquired taste. At first, you see the drool and hear the squealing and (if unlucky) smell the stink. You are repelled by the vacant expression and total self-interest. If you didn't know that it's a human, the rational reaction to encountering a squealy, drooly baby would be to hit it with a rock. But babies have a certain charm that long-term exposure makes extremely clear. They have a combination of limitless, ambitious energy and doughheaded guilelessness that is nothing but charming. They're not really people. But they want to be.
JEFF VOGEL
The Poo Bomb: True Tales of Parental Terror
Newborns reminded her of tiny buddhas.
JODI PICOULT
Nineteen Minutes
Babies are soft. Anyone looking at them can see the tender, fragile skin and know it for the rose-leaf softness that invites a finger's touch. But when you live with them and love them, you feel the softness going inward, the round-cheeked flesh wobbly as custard, the boneless splay of the tiny hands. Their joints are melted rubber, and even when you kiss them hard, in the passion of loving their existence, your lips sink down and seem never to find bone. Holding them against you, they melt and mold, as though they might at any moment flow back into your body.
DIANA GABALDON
Dragonfly in Amber
God save me ere I have any babies. They are grabby, clingy creatures who steal your figure and always want a ribbon or a wooden sword. And who sometimes make you die bearing them.
J. ANDERSON COATS
The Wicked and the Just
Babies have the same, adorable, limitless enthusiasm for exploring the world as puppies. And everyone loves puppies! But while puppies grow up to be big, dumb, slobbering dogs, babies grow up to be people. So babies are better.
JEFF VOGEL
The Poo Bomb: True Tales of Parental Terror
Having a baby's sweet face so close to your own, for so long a time as it takes to nurse 'em, is a great tonic for a sad soul.
ERICA EISDORFER
The Wet Nurse's Tale
It's not like I was going to ask my own mother for advice on mothering. I ended up buying a library of parenting books and reading every f***ing one of them. For anyone who is thinking of doing the same, allow me to summarize: Sleeping with your baby is good. Sleeping with your baby is bad. Schedules, yes. Schedules, no. Lay them on their stomachs. Lay them on their backs. Bottle. Breast. Wean. Don't wean. Toilet train. Don't toilet train. Pick them up when they cry. Never pick up a crying baby. Public school. Home school. Montessori. Competitive sports are good. Competitive sports are bad. Fluoride. No fluoride. Vaccines. No vaccines.
MARY GUTERSON
We Are All Fine Here
Shouldn't there be some kind of relationship between how much a baby eats and what comes out the other end? It's like that tiny clown car at the circus and all the clowns keep coming out and out and out.
DENNIS MILLER
attributed, Great Funny Quotes: Sweeten Your Life with Laughter
BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion. There have been famous babes; for example, little Moses, from whose adventure in the bulrushes the Egyptian hierophants of seven centuries before doubtless derived their idle tale of the child Osiris being preserved on a floating lotus leaf.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength.
BIBLE
Psalm 8:2
A baby's cry is precisely as serious as it sounds.
JEAN LIEDLOFF
The Continuum Concept
So he thinks he has a baby and everything falls into place? What gets me is, people have babies and they're thinking what the baby will do for them. It's sick.
SANDRA NEWMAN
The Heavens
Who can tell what a baby thinks?
Who can follow the gossamer links
By which the mannikin feels his way
Out from the shore of the great unknown,
Blind, and wailing, and alone,
Into the light of day?
J.G. HOLLAND
Bitter-Sweet
A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
CARL SANDBURG
attributed, Reader's Digest, 1962
Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
TINA FEY
Bossypants
When the baby cries, she could be hungry or thirsty or angry or cranky or sick or sleepy or paranoid or jealous or she had planned something but it went horribly awry. So you'll need to take care of that, when it happens.
CARMEN MARIA MACHADO
Her Body and Other Parties
I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us.
CHARLES DICKENS
Master Humphrey's Clock
Everybody who has a baby thinks everybody who hasn't a baby ought to have a baby ... the idea apparently being that just by being fruitful, you are doing something beautiful, which if it is true means that the common housefly is several million times more beautiful than me or you.
OGDEN NASH
Free Wheeling
We only have babies when we're young enough not to know how grim life turns out. Once we really get the full measure of it--we're slow learners, we women--we dry up in disgust and sensibly halt production.
GREGORY MAGUIRE
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West